I have ambition. That's not a problem. I've always been ambitious, wanting to be the best at what I do and move up to the next level. I want to move up the so-called ladder. I'm not sure where I want to get to, but I know I want to get out of the trenches and move up to something else. Maybe as a principal, maybe more district level. Maybe get a Ph.D and move into research or policy. There are all kinds of possibilities out there.
On the other hand, I want to be my daughter's mom. I want to be home with her. I want to take her to the park and the zoo. I want to go to Mommy and Me classes and sing songs and play games. I want to watch her walk and talk and learn to run and jump.
Last night I told Adam that I want to be a stay-at-home mom. I've been considering an opportunity to work with my principal in an internship style administrative credential program next year. The program sounds great, and the opportunity is outstanding, but I feel like it's not the right time for me. As much as I want to move up that career ladder, the ladder can wait. Lily can't. I can put my advancement on hold for 5 years and pick back up close to where I leave off, but I can't put Lily on hold. I can't regain what I'll miss if I'm not around.
I just hope it's the right decision.
Crossroads are tough places. Been there and we'll all continue to meet them again and again in our lives. Trust your gut decision and you'll usually be right. Indecision doesn't lead anywhere except the middle of the intersection - not the safest place to stand.
ReplyDeleteAnd now in retrospect - a year and a half later - it all turned out in the perfect plan for you and your lovely family! It warms my heart to know you are so happy and successful in your life HM!